How to Tell If You’re Dating a Douche

There’s no “situation” here.

You might think the latest man in your life is everything you’ve been looking for. He’s adorable, has the best smile, and makes you laugh 24/7. But what if he’s keeping his inner-loser hidden underneath it all? Here are some telltale signs that your prince charming isn’t so charming after all.

He’s glued to his phone.
When he’s not texting someone, he’s tweeting. When he’s not tweeting, he’s creepin’ on Facebook. When he’s not creeping, he’s checking the scores of the March Madness basketball games. When he’s doing all of these things, he’s not paying attention to you. Loser.

He’s high maintenance.
When your guy takes longer than you to get ready for a night out, there’s a problem. Unless he’s Pauly D and has a giant blowout to maintain, he has no excuse to spend an hour on his hair… or anything for that matter. Loser.

He’s a cheapskate. 
He rarely takes you out anywhere, and when he does, you’re the one driving. And paying. And being a better boyfriend than he is. There’s nothing wrong with going 50/50 on meals once and awhile, but when it’s all you all the time, that’s a no-deal. Loser.

He puts you down.
If a guy ever says anything degrading that makes you feel bad about yourself, you should leave him instantly. If he’s doing it now, it’s not going to get any better. Loser.

He takes mirror pictures of himself.
This is sooo MySpace. And soooooo not cool. If your guy has even one picture of himself up on Facebook where he snapped a picture of himself shirtless in the mirror, there’s a pretty high chance (and by high we mean REALLY high) that he would rather spend time with himself than a girl anyways. Loser.

What are some other signs you’ve noticed in guys you’ve dated that ended up being the biggest douche bags on the planet?


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2 Responses to How to Tell If You’re Dating a Douche

  1. Lydia F says:

    My ex did the phone thing constantly and it got super annoying. Never again.

  2. Jamie! says:

    burping all of the time. umm, gross? can you hold that in please?

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