Why Do They Do That?

Like slathering a fillet with ketchup… ruins it!

I in no way have all the answers here ladies, but perhaps I can give some insight as to why the opposite sex does the weird things that they do.  If I cannot pinpoint the exact reasons why, at least I can point out the hilarious and strange oddities that men exhibit so that we can commiserate together.

Why do they try to grow awkward facial hair that so obviously looks absurd and kind of gross?

While this answer may seem obvious, I feel as though it is multifaceted.

A. They want to look older and more mature.
B. They think that we think it is sexy. Now ladies, I know that I cannot speak for all of us, but I am not a fan. A little sexy scruff, great… long as it is soft. But any kind of mustache (ew, can you say Dad?), goatee, or God forbid…beard, is just plain gross and can be quite smelly and unhygienic.
C. They are trying to be funny. Okay AWESOME. Their friends can have a great laugh and they might win some stupid bet, but don’t expect to get any from us.

Why do they love talking about going to the gym and brag about how much they can lift with those “strong guns?”

Ugh, this one really annoys me.  Not all guys are victim to this obnoxious and boastful behavior, but many love to talk about how they love their “mad skills” at the gym. We could care less about your protein powder or how you can lift way more than the other guys at the gym. I guess it is equivalent to our obsession with going on diets or competing with other girls.  Plain and simple insecurity… we are all human, but I think most of us could really care less how many reps you benched today.

Why do they hook up with unattractive girls when better-looking ones are into them?

Sex, sex, and more sex. Sure, a guy loves a pretty girl, but they love sex more. And if a guy is not looking for a relationship, then at the end of the day, he will go for the girl that he knows he can score with.

Why do they often go out for the night with the intention of “blacking out” and getting obscenely drunk? 

For the most part, this particular blunder usually applies to mostly younger gentleman. But why do they do this? If we are talking to a guy and he keeps on forgetting our name, slurring his words, and asking us the same questions over and over again, we are not too likely to swoon. Sometimes, we all get too drunk, especially in our twenties.  But when it is intentional and planned, it starts getting less funny and more gross and off-putting. Is it because they subconsciously want to revert back to their primal selves and act like monkeys that want to exert their primitive impulses and have it be okay? Perhaps. Whatever the reason is, let’s hope this embarrassing and slightly repulsive behavior stops before they are 40.

Why do they make promises they don’t plan on keeping? 

I have two explanations for this:  1. They meant it at the time but they are so afraid of commitment that they freak out.  2. Guys are more afraid of us then they appear to be, and they hate being yelled at. So perhaps they are scared we will go all “psycho girl” on them.  When really what often makes us go all psycho from time to time, are those unfulfilled promises and blatant lies.  Men— we can all handle the truth, no need to lead us on and waste our time.

These are just a few of those questions that we usually have a hard time relating to or understanding.  Now, I am sure any guy has his own list of “Why Do They?” questions about us that they cannot understand for the life of them.  I guess men really are from Mars and women really are from Venus.  Hey, we each have our own weird quirks and oddities, but sometimes we can’t help but ask ourselves, “Why do they do that?”

♥AUTHOR: SAM DAVIDSON

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4 Responses to Why Do They Do That?

  1. Anonymous says:

    hahahahaha this is so great!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I LOL'd at ALL of this.

  3. Anna says:

    You are so good! can't wait to read the next one!

  4. Anonymous says:

    here's to hoping they stop blacking out before age 30…i don't know if i can handle another 10 years after that! 🙂
    -renee

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