|Awww. You were thinking it, too!|
I’m one of the first of my close friends to move in with a boyfriend, so I consider myself a trailblazer in this regard. I’m like Lewis and/or Clark when it comes to shacking up. I am writing to tell others of my journey in hopes that they can learn from my mistakes and my triumphs. In case you were wondering, my greatest triumph is teaching my boyfriend to put the toilet seat back down after he’s done.
The most important thing to remember when moving in with a significant other is that you need to maintain your own life. This may sound painfully obvious, but I have seen some girls move in with a boyfriend and it’s as if they have a lobotomy. They used to be normal women, and suddenly they are only able to speak about, hang out with, and think about their significant other.
Take my friend as an example. We will call her Sally. Sally and I used to hang out all the time. We had wonderful days filled with shopping trips and journeys to the nail salon. Then Sally met her boyfriend, Larry. When Larry met Sally, Sally would make plans with me yet spend the entire time texting her new love. Gone was Sally’s fun personality. I quickly stopped wasting my time “hanging out” with Sally. A few months later, Sally told me she and Larry were moving in together. I stalk her on Facebook every now and then, and all I see are pictures of the two of them together. Alone. Her statuses only mention him, and her wall is full of posts… from him. Cue the theme from “Psycho” because this is terrifying. It’s great to love your boyfriend. It is not so great when the only time you are apart from each other is when you’re in the bathroom.
I know post-college life can be unnerving. You no longer have all of your best friends in a three-block radius. You may be in a city where you don’t know many people. It’s easy to depend on your boyfriend for constant companionship, but you will feel a lot sexier and more confident if you have your own life. There is nothing more disappointing than going to dinner with your guy, only to find that you have nothing new to discuss because you spend all your free time with each other. That’s why you need outside interests. Volunteer somewhere. Join a gym. Take a cooking class (something I should probably do). Do anything that gets you out of the house, and makes you feel good about something other than your relationship.
The next part of achieving domestic bliss deals with how you fight. It’s okay to bring up grievances, but once they’ve been addressed it’s time to let them go. When you keep bringing up the stupid thing he did three weeks ago, that is called fighting dirty. Don’t do it. Bring up the problem, come up with a solution, and then find a way to move on. If you can’t do that, then you probably have 3 feet of hair extensions and are Sammi from everyone’s favorite show “Jersey Shore.” After yelling about who is “faker,” Sammi and her boyfriend Ronnie always end up going back to the fact that Ronnie cheated on Sammi in Miami. Once this comes up, any past problem they may have had is fair game again. Most knockdown, drag-out fights could be avoided if you kept the discussion confined to the current issue. Or, in Sammi’s case, dump the guy who motorboats a cocktail waitresses and giggles like a middle school girl.
So, lovely ladies, keep these tips in mind as you look for gender-neutral apartment decor. And if all else fails, just get a dog. They’re much easier to housebreak. I kid, I kid.
♥AUTHOR: LAUREN LEVINE of “Life with Lauren”