When we moved out of our parent’s homes after high school, we were thrown into the world of co-ed dorms and apartments. Living with/next door/down the hall/ from the opposite sex can be a blast, especially when first leaving home. It is exciting, fun, and sometimes even sexy.
You are presented with this new sense of independence and excitement, unlike anything you have ever experienced before. Overnight you became an adult that can have boys sleep over without getting caught, and who can crack open a beer with your cute new neighbor without breaking a sweat.
As you move on from your freshman year, living around the opposite sex becomes less exciting and more normal. With that being said, we are only human, and when young men and women are put in situations where they are constantly surrounded by one another, boundaries can become unclear and hormones become amplified. Sure, who wouldn’t love to date the hottie next door…. but what happens when it ends? Unless you marry the guy, which chances are you won’t, this is not a good situation to get yourself into.
If you have never attempted the neighborly romance route, let me stop you while you’re ahead. I have learned first-hand that this kind of romance never ends well….ever.
Freshman year I broke up with a guy that lived across the hall from me. The first few weeks after our romance ended, I began taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and found myself peeking my head out of my door like a kid playing hide and seek before going anywhere. I finally had to suck it up and face the awkward run-ins, because quite frankly, my legs hurt and I was tired of acting like a scared little girl.
Sophomore year I lived in an apartment and the tables were turned on me. I not only was dumped by a guy I really liked (who happened to be my neighbor) but I also had to constantly see the girl he chose over me. It was honestly one of the most hurtful things I have ever experienced, and since then I have sworn to never take up a neighborly romance again.
Another unfortunate outcome of the neighborly romance is um… well, how shall I put this…. the booty call. Opening up a romantic relationship with your neighbor has its pros, well mainly one, which is convenience. Convenience then leads to, well, probably a lot of sex, which then leads to the inevitable convenient call of choice… the booty call.
Or on the other hand, you spend so much time together, because you are neighbors, that any chance of a real romance is killed by the lack of mystery. Instead, after three weeks, you know pretty much everything you need to know and a romance that could have been dragged out over a span of time is now kaput. Neither of these things are good. Unless, you like the whole booty call thing and do not get emotionally attached or jealous…. but come on girls, we know that rarely (NEVER) happens.
I know this can be hard, trust me. It is my first year out of college and I swore to myself that once I had graduated, I would keep my neighbors purely neighbors, no matter how much they resemble the Big 4 (Leonardo DiCaprio, Paul Walker, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck). And trust me… if my neighbor across the hall didn’t have a girlfriend, well I probably would never leave my apartment because if I saw him I would be like a moth to a flame. I kid you not…the Ben Affleck clone, Bostonian accent included of course, knocked on my door late one night because he got locked out of his place with his laundry. If I can contain myself with this neighbor on a lonely Wednesday night after watching three hours of Sex and the City, anyone can do it.
Who knows… maybe the guy of your dreams is right next door. But from one twenty-something girl to another, the neighborly romance typically has an expiration date comparable to a gallon of organic milk (which is three weeks tops). Is hooking up with a Ben Affleck look-alike worth taking the stairs and playing hide and seek, constantly living in fear that you will have that oh so awful confrontation? I think not. Please, for your sanity, venture out of your comfort zone and meet someone who you do not share an address with.
♥AUTHOR: SAM DAVIDSON