Mr. Right Now

Keep him or send him on his way?

What happens when you are in your early to mid-twenties, and you meet a guy that you find entertaining and enjoy his company, but does not seem like the type you will end up with long-term? Perhaps he does not meet your criteria because of religion, social status, beliefs, lifestyle, age, or even looks. Do you ditch “Mr. Right Now” and search for someone that has more of the qualities on your checklist? Or do you stay with “Mr. Right Now” and take him for a test drive?

In our early to mid-twenties, we still have no idea who we are, or who we are going to be. Some may dispute this claim, but I know that most girls our age really have no idea. Maybe we think we are destined to be with the next Jerry Maguire, but we are really supposed to end up with the next Peter Bretter (Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall). One is a driven go-getter business man, while the other is a goofy, sensitive, musician. We may think we know what we want, but how can one really know what their “Mr. Right” will be like if they have nothing to compare it to?

What if your whole life you knew that you wanted to be with the Jerry Maguire-type, so you limited yourself and only dated men that resembled this type? Three things could happen: 1. You do end up with the man you are destined to be with, but you become restless and curious as to what else is out there. You then are filled with regret and longing that could lead to the destruction of your relationship. 2. You end up with the Jerry Maguire-type and then realize that you wasted all of those years chasing after your dream man, who in fact was not your dream man at all! You realize too late, that the “Mr. Right Now” guys that you passed up were actually “Mr. Right!” 3. You end up happily ever after with the Jerry Maguire-type and never look back. While the latter is ideal, it is unrealistic and boring!

The perfect example of a woman taking advantage of the “Mr. Right Now” is Carrie Bradshaw. Yes, I know she isn’t real, but to me, Carrie’s approach to dating is one I think all women should take. It seems in almost every episode, Carrie dates a different type. Yes, we have all known from episode 1 that Mr. Big was Carrie’s type, and probably the guy she would end up with. But did this the stop her from expanding her horizons and giving other types of men a chance? No way! Carrie dated different kinds of men including but not limited to: the businessman, athlete, artist, furniture designer, politician, writer, producer, just to name a few. Each one of these men was different, some were compatible with her and some were not. Carrie would compare dating to trying on a new outfit, to see if it fit. You know when you go shopping and the saleswoman says, “You have to try this on. I know it may not look like something you would wear, but once you put it on it will fit like a glove and you will love it.” Well, this is kind of what dating should be like.

Here is my point, dating “Mr. Right Now,” is not only healthy, but it is a gift given to our generation of women. Our mothers and grandmothers did not get the pleasure of dating many of the “Mr. Right Now” types, because of the pressure to settle down and have a family. This led to many divorces, affairs, broken hearts, or even plain old regret or boredom. But we are no longer forced to settle down right away; we are given the freedom and time to pursue different types of men.

When I say, “pursue,” I want to clarify that I in no way want any of you to become “floozies” (as my mother would put it). All I am saying is accept that coffee date with the artist you met at that gallery opening last weekend. Go on that hike that you have been putting off with the Green Peace Activist. Or even…go on that blind date that your best friend’s mom set you up on with that guy that looks like he just walked out of a science lab. Putting yourself out there and taking risks won’t hurt, even if it is the worst date of your life. It will either a) help you realize what it is you really want in a guy because he is so far from it, or b) introduce you the man of your dreams, that you never would have met if you didn’t give “Mr. Right Now” a chance.

Here is the truth, I am 23 years old and I am so not ready to meet my “Mr. Right.” If he came along right now, I do not even know what I would do. I just know that I am not ready. If you are, great! But I want to be honest with myself, and I want to take advantage of my youth and freedom. I am currently dating a “Mr. Right Now,” and it is a blast. Do I think we will have a long-term relationship? Probably not. However, am I opposed to the idea of opening myself up to try something new? Not at all.
By dating “Mr. Right Now” you are learning to find what it is you like and what you don’t. I know that we cannot personally customize our future boyfriends or husbands, bummer I know, but we can do ourselves a favor and figure out what we love and what we hate.
I once dreamed of being with the Jerry Maguire-type, but now I am much more into the Peter Brenner. And you know what, I bet you five years from now my type will have changed again. Perhaps back to the Jerry Maguire-type, or maybe even something totally different. Don’t sit around waiting for “Mr. Right,” because you might be waiting a very long time. Take advantage of the “Mr. Right Now” and learn a little something about yourself and the world of dating.


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