A True Inspiration: From Hurt to Helping

The words say it all.

Melissa has been through a lot in her life; from eating disorders, to cutting, to suicide attempts. Now that she has found the strength to get better, she wants to make a difference and inspire others every day to do the same. She just isn’t sure where to start. Read her story and give her some words of advice. Us twenty-somethings need to stick together.

The story ahead isn’t “full.” Of course, many things went into what you are about to read.

I want to make a difference because I’ve gone through so much in my life and I know what it’s like for people of all ages to suffer from these problems. Throughout my life, I’ve suffered from being underweight (unintentionally) because I just wasn’t producing my own growth hormone, to bullying for looking anorexic because of how skinny I really was, to deep depression consisting of cutting, eating disorders, or rather an eating disorder called EDNOS, which means that I did both things that consisted of anorexic and bulimic behaviors, to suicidal thoughts, to attempting suicide, to being hospitalized twice for depression and the suicide attempt, where I was then diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and a long road to recovery.

I went to a residential treatment center throughout the summer of ’08, first June to July, then the end of July to the end of August. I was kicked out the first time because I wasn’t motivated enough to get better. When I went back the second time, I embraced recovery. It has been a long road since then. Three years to be exact. But I haven’t cut in about 2 months, and then over a year before that. I haven’t worried about the food that goes into my mouth in so, so long that I don’t even remember the last time I was afraid of eating. In fact, I love food now! I’m not saying I have the most healthy eating habits, but it honestly has nothing to do with my past eating disorders. I’m not gonna lie and say that I eat 3 meals a day, full of protein and all of the essential vitamins I need. I’m also not going to lie and say that I don’t get urges to cut and eating disordered urges. But I haven’t given into those strong urges in such a long time. And there have been many.

Every time I get an urge, the first thing I think now is “You don’t really want to do this.” It’s true. I have come so far.

Let me reintroduce myself…My name is Melissa, I’m 24, from NY, and I am currently studying to be a medical assistant.

I want to inspire others to get better because they deserve it. They are worth it and they need to know that. Each and every one of these suffering girls…people…are so beautiful. It’s such a shame that they don’t see it. I want to share my story with them and let them know that things can get better, because they did for me. I am so strong now and it feels damn good.

I really, really want to make a difference in other people’s lives. I want to speak to an audience. Well, I want to start out small, because that seems more humanly possible in the beginning. How can I spread the word? This has been my dream for so long, but I just don’t know how to start. Maybe here is the right place…

Can anyone help me?

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3 Responses to A True Inspiration: From Hurt to Helping

  1. Anonymous says:

    This is so inspiring, Melissa. I've gone through quite a bit, too. I hope I can continue to be as strong as you have!

  2. Anna says:

    Props to you for getting through those hard things… everything always gets better and I'm happy that you're helping others in the process!

  3. Melissa, I relate to everything you wrote. I too suffer from an eating disorder and was in and out of treatment for a while. Nothing worked. I was still having suicidal thoughts and using eating disorder behaviors. Nothing worked because I wasn't ready to put in the work. It really takes hitting rock bottom to realize you've got to start the climb back to the top. I too want to get the message out about life in recovery and blogging is a great stepping stone to start inspiring others.

    Best wishes.

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